Who wears a wallet chain?!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
