Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
