Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
