I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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