I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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