I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
