tell your sister to shave her snatch
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
