So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
