If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
