i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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