i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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