i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
