Got a toothbrush?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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