How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
