I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize