something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
