Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
