she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My balls are so social today.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
