It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
