last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
