I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
