In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
its liver damage thursday
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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