Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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