That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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