Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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