He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Still dying that you shit outside
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
