I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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