i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize