did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize