so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
