Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
