i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
