I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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