She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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