I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
