I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
