dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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