So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
