my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
