I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
