Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
