I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
