Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Randomize
