Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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