wanna go halves on a baby?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize