i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
