idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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