I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
