a search helicopter?!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
