Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
