I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
