i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
