operation harelip BJ is a go
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
