Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
a search helicopter?!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
not ubering you a puppy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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