my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
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