bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am available for nakedness
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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