I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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