the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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