JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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