How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
