im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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