On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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