come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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