look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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