no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got a toothbrush?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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